Hey friends! Remember how last week there were four finalists left? Well, Ryan must have known that Kristi and I were in Orlando last week, because he didn't send anyone home. So now it's this week, and I forgot to tell Ryan that last night I had tickets to the Cubs game. Apparently I also forgot to tell some friends on Facebook, because they wanted to know where the heck my blog posts had gone!

So to my friends who were looking for my responses, well, what can I say. I'm humbled and flattered. And even though this and last week has truly proven that for me and my house, American Idol is not the "must see TV" that it once was, it still holds a special place in my heart - like the weird guy who used to work at the Blockbuster, and you wonder to yourself, "what is that guy doing nowadays since there's no way he fits inside a redbox?" ...What was I saying?

Oh yes, the final four - the ladies got quite the reprieve last week - Candice was clearly rocked by being in the bottom two. Will she come to play or will she fade away? Here's my take on last night's proceedings, and as always, I say what I say before I've heard anyone else say anything else. And away we go!

Themes for tonight: Songs from 2013, and "standards." Harry Connick Jr. is the mentor.

Angie: "Diamonds" - Loved the interplay between her and Harry. I liked everything about this arrangement except for the unnecessary background vocals. She knew just when she had to ratchet it up and belt some awesome notes to transform this from a dance hit with a predictable melody to something with emotion that told a story. Well played, Angie. See you next week.

Amber: "Just Give Me a Reason" - I really wonder what the disconnect is between her and the voters - because this girl can saaang. I wasn't a huge fan of this song, when it picked up tempo and energy it just kinda got off running and couldn't catch up. She wails, but will it be enough?

Candice: "When I Was Your Man" - She's doing okay, but until the bridge, she hadn't really committed to the moment. It worked, mainly because the word "man" only shows up once at the end of each chorus, and by that point, she's wailing to the point that you almost can't hear what word she's using. This had the kind of emotion needed to get back in the race.

Kree: "See You Again" - Apparently Kree is after the one ring to rule them all... I think that she did a really good job, but I also think that the difference between this arrangement and the power that she held in that room with Harry when it was just her and a piano was significant. She did do very well, but I think she got lost in the arrangement a bit.

Angie: "Someone to Watch Over Me" - Well it isn't fair, this is one of our favorites (wedding song and all that) - loved it, probably her most successful apart from the piano. That being said, i didn't like how rushed the bridge was, and that orchestral run that was so aggressive made no sense to me. Keep it simple! The last chord progression on the final note, too, was totally unnecessary.

Amber: "My Funny Valentine" - Well isn't that interesting, one of her more memorable previous performances, and it turns out that she didn't really know what she was singing about - kudos to Harry for a firm but graceful probing of her interpretation to get her to be better and not run on auto-pilot. Oh and also she was born to sing this song for all times please I only want her to ever sing this song lordy lordy.

Candice: "You've Changed" - I don't have much to say about this one - it was really good, she's really good. Not sure if she was able to sustain the storytelling for the whole time, but it was simultaneously sad, sultry and fantastic.

Kree: "Stormy Weather" - Well, she certainly didn't take Harry's advice, which made her face seem like she felt guilty, instead of seeming like she was deep in the lyrics. If she wasn't in the top two last week I would say that she was in trouble.

We're just all going to pretend that the group number at the end didn't happen. Like at all.

Random Thoughts: Okay, ultimately, Harry was right with regards to standards - you have to know the melody first, you have to know the song, what it means. The fact that Harry's mentoring shocked the girls into stagnation and challenged every fabric of their interpretation points more to the fact that prior to this point, they have not been given challenging training or preparation - what Harry was saying should not have been shocking or revolutionary - it should have been an addendum to things that should have already been a part of the experience of American Idol. If anything, the fact that Amber was able to kill it in previous weeks with a song she didn't even come close to understanding, is a huge indictment on the judges and the process that is so easily rocked by a Harry Connick Jr. saying the radical statement that someone should know what the heck they're singing. And I loved that they gave Harry a chance to defend himself and put that poser Randy Jackson in his place.

So who's going home? I think it's Amber - while she did very well, if she wasn't getting the votes last week, there wasn't anything about tonight that pushed her past anyone. They are all very good, and someone has to go home.

It's the top five, y'all! America figured out what the judges knew all along, and this year's winner will be a woman - this week they are bringing two songs - one from the year that they are born, and the other is categorized as a "diva" tune... hmmmm...

Candice: "Straight Up" - This arrangement is pretty cool, and I would say that 85% of the time her alternate melodies/riffing and scatting worked - but sometimes it wasn't there. And I got dizzy from the camera work. Over the time of the song though, it didn't really go anywhere - but the place it already was was pretty amazing.

Janelle: "When I Call Your Name" - This is a perfect song choice for her, and the chorus is in the sweet spot for her voice. She may not win, and is likely to go home tomorrow just based on the overall competition, but this pick is her, being the best that she can be, with the best music for her voice and personality.

Kree: "She Talks to Angels" - This almost worked. It seemed like she was unable to really enter the song's lyrics - her brow was furrowed quite a bit which I had never noticed before in previous songs. Great last note, but ultimately, I think this might be a problem for her - it wasn't quite there for me.

Angie: "I'll Stand By You" - This was fantastic - probably the most mature performance I've seen her give. Obviously the emotion of the Boston dedication makes it extra special, but beyond that the performance was fantastic.

Amber: "Without You" - I know this is building to that big chorus, but it's a pretty big risk, because so far, prior to that point, this is just boring. And when she got to the high notes, she was pushing. I am a fan of hers, but this was not her best moment. Just tried to take to big a bite of the piece of pie.

Candice: "When You Believe" - I love this song, and it was a perfect song for her to Diva out on. Fantastic. Send her to the finals.

Janelle: "Dumb Blonde" - I don't really know this Dolly song, but wouldn't it have been better for her to do Dolly's arrangement of "I Will Always Love You" - since she wrote it, and then you get the Whitney love too. Well, strategy aside, this unmemorable song seemed like a country version of Pat Benatar, and it didn't really work for me. Great ending though, good spunk. Probably going home.

Kree: "Have You Ever Been in Love" - This was very good for her, even though the style wasn't anything like what we're used to with her. I think this week ends up being pretty uneven for her, even in the midst of some good performances.

Angie: "Halo" - What she is doing with this lower register part of the song is exactly what the judges were wanting from the earlier competitors. It's great and with feeling and emotion even though she can't really hit the notes. Here's why this pick is brilliant - she's basically telling the world, hey, don't be fooled by my piano playing and the color of my skin - I have a voice that's just as rich and R&B ready as Candice or Amber or even Kree. I was really impressed with this one.

Amber: "What Are You Doing With The Rest of Your Life" - This is so much better for me than her first song. Great offspeed pitch - only question is, will the song itself be as memorable as Funny Valentine was, as a song? Tough to be memorable with this tune up against Halo and When You Believe.

Random notes and thoughts:
The key to a tighter close up shot for the judges: ridiculous cleavage. Take note, Keith.
Nicki to Mariah: "Simmer down... sir" - classic.
Jimmy Iovine needs a spot at the table for Pete's sake, he's been the surrogate Simon for a few seasons now.
I know that Mariah is for the most part a non-contributor in the judging department, but I did enjoy the diva-love that was sent her way with the back to back song tributes, and her performances over time are worthy of such celebration. So it was nice to see her get her props, even accidentally from Nicki.
The judges really liked Kree's choices a lot more than I did. When Keith said again that she was country, it was a reminder - if you just started watching tonight, you'd not have a clue that she was country. That may not be a bad thing, but I don't agree with the judges that it's a good thing.
I don't think Kree's missteps will put her in the bottom two. Mainly because without them, Amber's been in the bottom before. So I think the bottom two are Janelle and Amber, and Janelle's going home. But if Amber goes home, everyone on the judges' table will be outraged, and Janelle will become the new Lazaro.

Here we are, 6 left and only 1 guy... and it's the guy who probably should already be home... so let the catfight begin! (is anyone reading this anymore?) Here are my thoughts, uttered before the judges wax semi-philosophical...

Angie: "Anyone Who Had a Heart" - This is kinda Milquetoast to me - not really tranforming the song to her own style, feels really adult contemporary and not great. Good thing she has another song.

Amber: "Say a Little Prayer" - Half of this song really worked, and half of it fell to the same adult contemporary dilemma - she attacked it with more passion, but seriously, whose idea was Bacharach songs? If you needed more ammo for the charges that AI was fading into obscurity... just listen to the "locked in the 70s" songs...

Lazaro: "Close to You" - a little flat on one of those notes... apparently Kristi knows every word to this song and insisted on singing with Lazaro so I couldn't really hear his performance. Oh and also it was totally boring, and he didn't hear the key change at all, so that was a little scary. Lazaro is like Sanjiya was except that we all feel bad for him because he stutters.

Kree: "What the World Need Now Is Love" - She is handling the style better than anyone else so far, mainly because she chose to start the song acapella - once the horns kicked in, though, it was back to dated and old fashioned. What are they doing to this show?

Janelle: "I'll Never Fall In Love Again" - She was running this like she was at her concert or at her own variety show - but still, in an arrangement that doesn't cater to her strengths. Still, she sounded good. But man am I getting jaded on Burt Bacharach - and I like his music! But how about Elvis Costello's arrangement of this song instead?

Candice: "Don't Make Me Over" - This was good, mainly because she's amazing, and she picked a song that was performed previously by Dionne Warwick in a style that matched what Candice does really well. This was the best version of any of the Bacharach songs, but I'll speak to that issue later after this is all done. It was very good.

And now we shift to "songs the singers wish they had written"...

Angie: "Love Came Down" - a song she wished she had written is a worship tune by Kari Jobe, and wow - that's pretty gutsy. The mix was a little off and I wanted to hear more of her vocal and less of the BGVs, but this is definitely in her wheelhouse. Great stuff.

Amber: "Love on Top" - A bit of a shaky start, but she is getting into the groove - a surpising uptempo song for this theme. The pre-chorus really sold it - she has a great range that is super-confident. I think this played much better live and in the room than it did toward the end of the number on TV. Didn't end well.

Lazaro: "Angels" - After the train wreck of the first song, the judges are likely going to praise this song as being much better than it actually was - the chorus was good, but he spent way too much time in this arrangement in his lower register. Please America, let it be a top female five...

Kree: "Help Me Make It Through The Night" - She really tapped into to her inner K.D. Lang with this one. This was just okay for me - the arrangement kept it moving when I would have wanted it to feel more intimate, more private and emotional. I think that this was more of an emotional pick for her, and she probably needed a more strategic pick for a song that would really push her past her very capable competition.

Janelle: "The Dance" - This was a good honest performance for her. Tough to have to follow Kree, but I think that she held her own really well.  All except for the very last note - it got a little shaky at the end. Overall though, I thought it worked.

Candice: "Love Song" - this was fantastic. Granted, she's aping Adele's arrangement of this song, but still, it's so unique to her in her performance - fantastic. She should win - they should hand her the award right now and close up shop.

Okay - here's the thing - with a style so specific as "songs by Burt Bacharach", the show needed him there, like they have had in the past. Or at least we need to see these young singers paired with someone who is going to teach them about the style, about the era, about what it takes to pull off these melody intensive songs, and show us, through video, that they are taking this seriously and that, yeah, they should be cut some slack because they're stepping into an arena that they are unfamiliar with, but that because they are great vocalists, they can do it. But instead, we got no video, no set up of who Bacharach even is, absolutely nothing to prepare the audience for "hey this is some old-timey stuff, but you're still going to like it." - I knew almost all of the songs, but with no setup, almost all of them fell flat, and it really made this show look like a "phone it in" moment, which, given the general lack of pop culture conversation about AI, plus the surge of "The Voice", well, this is not good for this 12 year old franchise. Yes, AI is super-influential, but the goal is an entertaining show - and what they did with this phoned-in theme was lackluster and not entertaining.

Lazaro must go... And if he doesn't, then the save gets used for sure, so either way, the ladies are staying put for another week.

Here we are - back to form, chatting about American Idol - I took a week off of my blog for spring break, and with "the Voice" starting last week, Idol's ratings took a break too! Nonetheless, still a top 10 show and worth a brief snarky commentary from yours truly - uttered as always, before I've heard any of the judges comments...

Burnell: "You Give Love a Bad Name" - No to that jacket. This was a brutal pick, I want Orianthi to advance on this one. If he looked and sounded any more uncomfortable, they would have to pack him up for the wax museum.

Lazaro & Angie: "This Thing Called Love" - This is like Donnie and Marie but Donnie got replaced by that guy who stutters from Cuba that I can't make fun of because I would be making fun of a stutterer. This thing called love was no good.

Kree: "Piece of My Heart" - yes please. So I guess everyone is required to go stand near the blond axe player, huh? I thought she might go for a Heart song, but I'm glad she did this, showed that this is actually a great song, and that her voice shows no strain attacking a song that lives that long that high in her range. Killed it.

Candice & Burnell: "The Letter" - this is the kind of thing Burnell should have done for his solo piece. That's gonna cost him, because I don't think he can steal teenybopper votes from Lazaro. This was really good, but I was also kind of done with it after the first minute. Again a weird song to turn into a duet, lyrically.

Janelle: "You May Be Right" - perfect arrangement for her for this song. this was very good, but it isn't going to blow anyone away - it keeps her still in the hunt during a week that could have really caused her to stumble. Nice ending with the octave up - didn't see that coming!

Lazaro: "We Are the Champions" - okay, this is pretty close to a ballad, isn't it? Okay I can't make fun of his stutter, but can I make fun of "we are the shampions?" - One thing about him is that he doesn't smile when he sings. Ever. He actually attacked this song fairly well, but where is the joy? He is one of the champions, isn't he? I think they will give him lots of praise to be in line with the fact that he's stayed in the competition so far.

Amber, Janelle, Kree: "It's Still Rock & Roll to Me" - What is up with Angie's jeans? I can really take or leave all these duets and trios, it's just so obviously filler for the competition. I think they need a new idea for this.

Candice: "Satisfaction" - Ummm Orianthi, that's not how the guitar lick goes. I thought she attacked this song fairly well - The Rolling Stones have always been secret R&B influenced, so it works- My only thing is that you only have two shades, the chrous and the verse, it's pretty repetitive. She is so amazing that even though it was probably her worst performance of the show so far, it was still pretty darn good.

Amber: "What About Love" - I'm just gonna say that this is also a ballad. And in Heart's catalogue, it was practically pop more than rock. But she did very well with her rendition, just kept on wailing. Of the ladies who had to make the switch to rock, I think she did the best.

Angie: "Bring Me to Life" - Ooh, this is going to be good I think. And it really was, until the chorus. It was like it had taken all the tension and mystery that was present in the verse, and just kind of sat on it. The bridge got better, but then there's just something about the chorus that isn't working - until the end note - big finish + fan blowing the long curly hair = ROCK.

So what can one say about this week? Here's what I say: Lazaro must go, but Burnell might instead. We are still not going to see a lady leave...

The top nine are singing the music of the Beatles tonight - it's either a recipe for success or unmitigated disaster.... How I wish Charlie had made it to this round... Well, here we go - the top nine, with my comments that as always, are written before I have a chance to be influenced by any of the other judges mutterings...

Kree: "With a Little Help From My Friends" - Killed it. She's probably the first contestant this year who won't succumb to the "going first curse" - great way to start the show.

Burnell: "Let It Be" - Why would they let it be revealed that he doesn't know Let It Be? Those glasses and the angle that reveals his eyebrows remind me of Groucho Marx for some reason... He does amazing things with his runs, but there was not much "electric" about this performance, and in fact, sometimes it almost seemed screechy or whiny in some of his attacks - like a raspiness that didn't quite arrive right. It was okay, but man it made me wish Curtis had survived last week to have been able to sing this song. I bet he knows it.

Amber: "She's Leaving Home" - This is a great song to do in this way - though I think the chorus really misses the counterpoint of the melody that was regulated to a whisper of a BGV. But I loved her belt, and I think this song actually allowed her to tell more of a story with her performance than I've seen from her in the competition so far.

Lazaro: "In My Life" - This was boring for me - I think he's run out of colors in the crayon box. And can someone get this kid some powder? Not good enough I'm afraid.

Candice: "Come Together" - great off-speed pitch for her. If you're going to take a risk with a different style, this is the way to do it. She just owns the stage at all times. Is she getting thinner? Fantastic arrangement, great confidence - I loved it.

Paul - "Eleanor Rigby" - this feels like those moments when some dude from a soap opera cut an album and does a cover on Solid Gold. Was waiting for Donny Osmond or David Hasselhoff to come out for a duet. Me not like.

Angie: "Yesterday" - for what it's worth, Nikki, this is my favorite hairstyle of hers so far... The only part i didn't like was one time when she came in way above the melody on the first "yesterday" of that verse (it was late in the song)  - other than that, it was very very good. Very enjoyable.

Devin: "The Long and Winding Road" - He has all the swag that Paul is trying to convince himself that he has. I think he really found a nice groove with this arrangement and performance. It was very good. Smooth like butter.

Janelle: "I Will" - She's making this sound like a Dolly Parton song - beautiful, she's selling it for sure, I just don't know if it has enough "umph" when compared to the others - but she is owning her style and what she brings to the table.

Paul has got to go. That is all. See you with the results tomorrow

It's time for the top ten y'all! We slow down the cuts for the moment after two massive chops of five. This week the contestants can pick from previous American Idol artists (is this a good idea?) - and Nicki Minaj is not here because she's late. Seriously? National television contract but whatevs.

Here we go, and here are my comments as always written down before judges say anything.

Curtis: "Believe" - well this is getting the night started with all those great cliches we've come to know and love from American Idol songs. Right now this is working for me, but in many ways his jacket is more animated that this performance. And one of those notes was very flat. Not great. But he can still do that big note at the end.

Janelle: "Gone" - Now that's how you make an entrance! This is a great performance of a "just okay" song pick. But what this song does show is that she has some appeal beyond the pure country stuff. So it's better than her Lady Antebellum pick, but over the course of the song she had a hard time maintaining the fire of the song.

Devin: "Temporary Home" - This boy has a silky smooth voice. He's still my dark horse. no one thought that there was a teeny-bopper pick in this top 5 of guys, but if he is able to select some key songs that give him some tween girl traction, he could make life really miserable for the girls. I liked it.

Angie: "I Surrender" - Well she certainly does have the voice for this song - but what Jimmy is talking about and what's missing in her performance is what I would call "artist angst." - She is nailing it technically, and she's being honest with her performance, but she isn't diving into the heart of the song - she sings "I surrender" in a minor key but she's smiling a bit in the breaks. That's what makes it seems like a pageant performance.

Paul: "Amazed" - Well he's not oversinging, but this is also boring. Bored. Boring.

Candice: "I Have Nothing" - the control that it takes to go from belting the "I" and the "love" while cooing the immediate "you" that follows is very impressive. She's like if Mary J. Blige stole Beyonce's range in a street brawl. It was an amazing performance, best of the night.

Lazaro: "Breakaway" - Brunazaro Mars? His voice isn't made for this song - the band and BGVs are overpowering his performance. It's too bad because I think the sentiment of the song could work for his story but it just didn't connect this time.

Kree: "Crying" - Very solid performance - exactly what I would have expected of her - I hope people don't stop being amazed by her talents. It was a little too slow for me personally, but man she is great.

Burnell: "Flying Without Wings" - This boy has eyes! Nice to see him without those frames. What in the heck is he doing with his hands? Is he auditioning for the Children's Television Workshop? He almost had all the notes to do this song, but does anyone actually remember this song? I just heard it and I already forgot the melody. He's got a great voice but it needs a better song to really come alive.

Amber: "A Moment Like This" - Ahhh, the original cliche finale tune! She had complete control of this performance the whole way through - my only feeling was that the arrangement was pretty "Disney World" especially the background vocals. - but her runs were off the charts good.

Random thoughts: So was Nicki lost in a penguin boxing ring? Is that why she was late? Will someone please put some more light on the pianist for Devin's song? He obviously can't see his music and continues to play wrong notes...
Nicki about Angie: "You personify perfection."
Randy about Angie; "Your voice was clystal clear."
Nicki: (after Candice killed it) "It would be in everybody's best interest to never ever perform that song again."
Keith about Amber: "That was a fan, I'm a fan"
Gotta love the snark of Mariah unwilling to mention Beyonce's name...

Who is in the bottom three? Based on performance, I would put Lazaro, Burnell, and Curtis in there. But I bet a Janelle or Angie will be shocked to be in the bottom three based on popular vote. We shall see...

Tonight on American Idol we hear from the 10 contestants who the producers have not-so-subtly decreed should not have a chance to win this year - so that a female will finally win again. Nonetheless, we still have to go through the exercise of hearing each of them sing one by one. So why get in the way of progress disguised as historical precedent? Here we go, the top 10 guys are up, my comments being uttered before I hear what the judges have to say...

Elijah: "Stay" - it's so cool - he's trying to get into that female vote consideration by singing a Rihanna tune. Unfotunately he doesn't have what Rihanna brings to the table. Big mistake with song choice and he has gone first. Soon to be forgotten, even the tweens can't save him on this one.

Cortez: "Locked Out Of Heaven" - Hmmm... pretty karaoke, which is too bad because to be able to imitate Bruno Mars in karaoke is very difficult to do, so it's a mean feat - but it doesn't really tell us anything about him or what he brings to the table that is unique. Except maybe for that last run.

Charlie: "Mama" - All the best freaks are here - it was really good and completely bizarre - boy does he know who he is. (more thoughts on this performance below after I heard the judges feedback)

Nick: "Iris" - Way to go Ryan to bring up his receding hairline--I mean, style choice wearing hats... eeek. I like this song, but man, he is Richard Marx-ing the crap out of it. And I like RIchard Marx! I understand why they have kept him, but it's not for me.

Burnell: "I'm Here" - I think this was a great performance, and yet at the same time it feels a little desperate to me. But even with that it's the best so far. Big shout out to musical theater playing a key role in the proceedings.

Paul: "Just a Fool" - Didn't he listen to them about oversinging?! And he picks a Christiana Aguilera song? Her middle name is over-singing - and it's not even one of her catchy songs. I don't get him yet.

Lazaro: "Feeling Good" - If he could get a real smile out when he sings, he would be a complete heartbreaker - as he is now, he's more moody and a little boring. It's like the whole time he's saying that he's Feeling Good but he's in pain while performing. But he smiled at the end after the song, and that's what he needs. He's gonna go through for sure.

Curtis: "I Believe I Can Fly" - yes, this is a perfect pick for him. Gospel music happens, even by R. Kelly. He just took everyone to church - it didn't exactly get all the way through the TV set though, so it will be interesting to see if the voting will reflect how powerful that moment must have felt in the room.

Devin: "It's Impossible" - I know that the judges have been high on him, but even with their favor, I think he is a dark horse who could knock out some favorites. But the bilingual routine won't work every week, so he's going to need to have another card to play. But he has a killer voice.

Vincent: "End of the Road" - I like this song but it is for multiple voices in my mind, so I don't like it as much as a solo artist trying to do runs over BGVs singing the chorus. This arrangement is rushed - too fast - then he did the acrobat note, and that was okay I guess. But his acapella run didn't work, and it was not nearly as good as Curtis, who I am comparing him to out of my own racism and depravity. I should say that he wasn't as good as Devin. oh wait. Now I'm confused.

Random Notes: Keith Urban loves everyone's voice.
Randy: "(the notes are) always a little under for me sometimes." come again?
Mariah continues to bring up past performances.
These judges are ridiculous to think that what Charlie did is any different from anything he has been doing this whole time.
Now everyone's going to try and keep Charlie from walking off a pier. Don't bully the awkward turtle, and also don't give him a microphone.
My wife Kristi about Charlie: "He may just be a tad emotionally unstable."
Nicki Minaj to Curtis: "You have a calling on your life to bless people and to do so much good." Preach.
Nicki's new song next year: "Spanish Ken Doll?"

My favorites after all was sang and done were Curtis, Lazaro and Burnell. What did you think?

American Idol is back - and here I go again with yet another season of commenting on performances and enjoying the performance rounds of the show. Say what you want about X Factor and The Voice, but American Idol remains the most influential singing competition that actually turns nobodies into superstars who make a pop culture impact, and that is even after two seasons of Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez judging! Now it's Mariah, Nicki, and Keith, along with the big dog Randy. Tonight, it's the top ten girls, and the voting will knock that in half for next week's top ten. Here are my thoughts, as always written before I hear any other judges comments... and away we go!

Zoanette: "What's Love Got Do With It" - She is what I would call a "legitimate freak" - there are others that they might have been scared to let go through, but this girl is completely freaky but is clearly very talented. Perfect artist pick with Tina Turner, but I'm not sure about this particular song - she might have been better served with "life beyond thunderdome" or "private dancer." I think she's in trouble.

Breanna: "Flaws and All" - Strong performance - she reminds me of Rihanna in that she has a strong presence and everything feels great but I don't see a whole lot going on behind the eyes - she's great, but she lacks sparkle ultimately. But she'll go on.

Aubrey: "Big Girls Don't Cry" - This feels rushed. I like her more than I liked this performance - just didn't have enough time to breathe. But I hope she goes through because I think she has real potential.

Janelle: "If I Can Dream" - She is very good, but probably should have gone home last week. She capped her ability, and it was enjoyable, but not memorable. Country strong is gonna need to show up in the voting to keep her in the top five.

Tenna: "Lost" - Struggled with some of these notes, and she needs diction exercises. It's not that she's bad, but after the last several, man, they're all starting to blend in together.

Angela: "Never Gone" - hmmmm... pulling out the Colton Dixon tune... could be Christianish! It was smart to pick a relatively unknown song that was similar to the kind of vibe she achieved when she wrote and performed her own song two weeks ago during Hollywood week. She nailed it. Smart, smart.

Amber: "I Believe In You and Me" - She has everything that was lacking in Breanna - sparkle in her smile and an attack to the song that seems effortless. I hope she doesn't get overshadowed. She is the best of the brand of the female african-american strong vocalists this season.

Kree: "Stronger" - Very similar to the last performer, her country chops blow Janelle away. She has soul, spirit, grounding that is unmatched. The only thing she needs is a catchier song. But I really loved it and loved her.

Adriana: "Stand Up For Love" - She's going for the "we are the world" moment right out of the gate. And with that last note, she might have done it.  Her only saving grace is that she went last and that she isn't one of the african-american girls.

Candice: "Ordinary People" - I love hearing a girl belt this song. She is the black soul version of white country Kree - just effortless. I would love to see Candice and Kree in the finals.

So Thursday night we find out which five go on, and tomorrow we get the boys. They have been really pumping up these girls to get one of them through to win since it has been so long since a girl has won. So... is there a winner here? A couple?

PART TWO!

Funny skit with the Idols singing the phone book to mock Randy Jackson. Two problems: They mic'ed all of their feet stomping accidentally, and what's a phone book?

Looks like JLo's catsuit needs to be send back in for the right size. Did she just say "Tonight we go Orangutan - bananas?" Because now this is my favorite song ever in the world. I think I'm done with rap. Is that okay?  Fast forwarding now.

Good to know that they still let Taylor in the building. Ace and Diana are a couple? Please propose, Ace! Oh yeah, it's here. Oh no - he had to plug his jeweler to afford the ring! I wanna make this last forever, he says. That's fine, but keep the actual proposal short. Well okay then.

Now Hollie is singing a song. Try to follow up the first AI live TV proposal, Hollie! And here comes Jordin Sparks. I don't know this song. Doesn't quite have the same punch as when Neil Diamond sings his whole catalogue and everyone knows the words. A little pitchy on that last note, Hollie. And with a key change coming, that can't be good. Jordin is the best dressed returning star performer so far. Stunning.

Now a tribute to the Bee Gees and the late Robin Gibb - this should be good. And for the most part, it is. But even though this is a tribute that is serious in nature, I'm missing me some Bee Gee disco. They'd better correct that soon. Nope. That's probably understandable, but I miss it.

Okay, here comes Jennifer Holliday. This is a treat. I'm glad that it's her and not Jennifer Hudson. This is one giant "let me show you how this is done, 16 year old girl" moment. There are more faces being made in this performance per second than have ever been seen on the AI stage. Gotta be a world record, right Ryan? I'd like to see Reba try that…

Aerosmith! I didn't realize that "Over the Top" guy was in a band. Is this actually a new song? Everyone in the audience seen standing because it's Aerosmith, but what song is this? I don't know, so I can't clap - can't function. Play me a riff I know! I want to recognize it!

There it is. Walk this way. I know this. This is a Run D.M.C. song, right? Why are they covering it?

Duet between Phillip and Jessica - great idea for them. "Up Where We Belong"  - But I still wish I could have seen a Joshua and Phillip finale that included a performance of "Say, Say, Say"…

And here are the results of the bazillion votes: This year's American Idol is ….

Phillip Phillips!

Congratulations to Phillip! And to Ellen and Stacy, who picked up iTunes gift cards for their accuracy in picking the winner back in February! It's been a fun season with lots of talent. Now onto the next thing in my life….

All right - I've never really blogged a results show before - So this is probably going to feel more snarky than normal… kind of like one big "random notes" session… Enjoy!

"Runaway"
Joshua - nice splits! But James Brown you are not… You have fallen down and you can't get up...

Let the "So You Think You Can Dance" advertising begin, with the dance breaks in this singing competition… And Mary Murphy in the audience…

Ryan announces a "new world record" for votes. World record? That seems a bit strong. Still, it was a lot.

Phillip and Jessica got to skip that opening number, which was good for them.

John Fogerty begins the throng of "surprise" guests, and sings "Have You Even Seen the Rain" - with Phillip. I wish I found CCR's music more interesting, but beyond Fortunate Son and the original Proud Mary, I just have a hard time getting into it.

Okay, I like "Bad Moon Rising." - I also like that they just let Phillip do the segue himself. It's like I'm at a Phillip Phillips concert!

Why isn't Steven Tyler clapping at John Fogerty? Is there some bad blood between CCR and Aerosmith that I'm not aware of? Some Boston-San Francisco feud?

Video Montage #1: These clips from the first wave of auditions seem like they were a million years ago. Boring.

Joshua is now singing "Take Me To The Pilot." Another great pick for him that he takes and turns into a gospel song. And here comes Fantasia Barrino straight from her failed Catwoman audition. She looks like she is wanting to clap her hands but that the skin-suit simply won't allow her that kind of mobility. Freak. Show.

Okay, screaming aside, they brought her on WAY too early. I wanted more of him before she came in and "did her thang." And the commercial break forces its hand and leaves the song before it can finish. And I don't think it had any intention of finishing. I imagine that they were not even allowed to end - that someone grabbed the drumsticks and just yelled "cut!"

Outtakes of Jimmy Iovine were pretty fantastic. Particularly the part where he suggested that they should string them together.

New song - who is that short haired blonde? Seriously, I know she was on before, but I can't remember her name. Elaine? Eloise? Joshica? This appears to be a medley of songs that you almost know, but don't. Oh wait. Now I know it. Chaka Khan medley. I'm sure she's waiting backstage, hopefully she isn't trying to get into Fantasia's catwoman outfit…. [she enters]

Well, it's pretty close. What the heck is the theme here - the American Idolvengers?

I'll tell you one thing. Chaka at 59 years old pulled it off ten times more effectively than Fantasia did. Not saying a whole lot, but it's plenty. Now I have to go scrub out my eyeballs.

Erika! Thanks Ford! I like the idea of giving someone else a Ford. Of course, they have to pay the taxes on them. So there's that, but hey. I got a new Escape this year, and I had to pay the taxes too.

Rihanna is on now. I will likely have to fast forward this performance, since she appears to be in some kind of nuclear green Tesseract. Oh she tricked us. It's a prism! Still gonna need to fast forward soon. I likes her music so much better when we reworked it and sang it on Easter. She has stepped off of the nuclear prism now. And cue the fast forward when the "dance break" starts.

Skylar Lane sings "Turn on the Radio" - Ladies and Gentlemen, Reba! And her fake face! Skylar, please learn the lesson and don't even do that. This so far is the most connected star turn of the night. I mean, I guess John Fogerty is just a tad more available these days then Dave Matthews. Plus if Dave Matthews and Phillip Phillips actually appeared on the stage together, it would be nuclear. Looks like the LMFAO guy got a hold of a fiddle after all.

Now we get to visit Steven's "lair." let the hilarity begin. Where's my sloth? No. Stop. This whole skit is a nightmare. Boo.

Jessica sings "I Will Always Love You." Ladies and Gentlemen, Whitney -- oh wait. (too soon?) How about Jennifer Hudson? Nope, it's just a solo. Why was Steven singing along with her? I'm saying that was supposed to be with Jennifer Hudson and then she canceled at the last minute.

Colton and the boys start off a Neil Diamond medley. Did they really have Heejung sings lead on the word "free" over and over again? Ladies and gentlemen, hurry up and bring out the real guy, I can't take much more of these boys… wait. He's not gonna be wearing a catsuit, is he?

There he is. Everybody join in, "Bahm, Bahm, Bahm!"

Well, that's the first hour. I'll post this, and then continue on blogging for a second post. Fun!