PART TWO!

Funny skit with the Idols singing the phone book to mock Randy Jackson. Two problems: They mic'ed all of their feet stomping accidentally, and what's a phone book?

Looks like JLo's catsuit needs to be send back in for the right size. Did she just say "Tonight we go Orangutan - bananas?" Because now this is my favorite song ever in the world. I think I'm done with rap. Is that okay?  Fast forwarding now.

Good to know that they still let Taylor in the building. Ace and Diana are a couple? Please propose, Ace! Oh yeah, it's here. Oh no - he had to plug his jeweler to afford the ring! I wanna make this last forever, he says. That's fine, but keep the actual proposal short. Well okay then.

Now Hollie is singing a song. Try to follow up the first AI live TV proposal, Hollie! And here comes Jordin Sparks. I don't know this song. Doesn't quite have the same punch as when Neil Diamond sings his whole catalogue and everyone knows the words. A little pitchy on that last note, Hollie. And with a key change coming, that can't be good. Jordin is the best dressed returning star performer so far. Stunning.

Now a tribute to the Bee Gees and the late Robin Gibb - this should be good. And for the most part, it is. But even though this is a tribute that is serious in nature, I'm missing me some Bee Gee disco. They'd better correct that soon. Nope. That's probably understandable, but I miss it.

Okay, here comes Jennifer Holliday. This is a treat. I'm glad that it's her and not Jennifer Hudson. This is one giant "let me show you how this is done, 16 year old girl" moment. There are more faces being made in this performance per second than have ever been seen on the AI stage. Gotta be a world record, right Ryan? I'd like to see Reba try that…

Aerosmith! I didn't realize that "Over the Top" guy was in a band. Is this actually a new song? Everyone in the audience seen standing because it's Aerosmith, but what song is this? I don't know, so I can't clap - can't function. Play me a riff I know! I want to recognize it!

There it is. Walk this way. I know this. This is a Run D.M.C. song, right? Why are they covering it?

Duet between Phillip and Jessica - great idea for them. "Up Where We Belong"  - But I still wish I could have seen a Joshua and Phillip finale that included a performance of "Say, Say, Say"…

And here are the results of the bazillion votes: This year's American Idol is ….

Phillip Phillips!

Congratulations to Phillip! And to Ellen and Stacy, who picked up iTunes gift cards for their accuracy in picking the winner back in February! It's been a fun season with lots of talent. Now onto the next thing in my life….

All right - I've never really blogged a results show before - So this is probably going to feel more snarky than normal… kind of like one big "random notes" session… Enjoy!

"Runaway"
Joshua - nice splits! But James Brown you are not… You have fallen down and you can't get up...

Let the "So You Think You Can Dance" advertising begin, with the dance breaks in this singing competition… And Mary Murphy in the audience…

Ryan announces a "new world record" for votes. World record? That seems a bit strong. Still, it was a lot.

Phillip and Jessica got to skip that opening number, which was good for them.

John Fogerty begins the throng of "surprise" guests, and sings "Have You Even Seen the Rain" - with Phillip. I wish I found CCR's music more interesting, but beyond Fortunate Son and the original Proud Mary, I just have a hard time getting into it.

Okay, I like "Bad Moon Rising." - I also like that they just let Phillip do the segue himself. It's like I'm at a Phillip Phillips concert!

Why isn't Steven Tyler clapping at John Fogerty? Is there some bad blood between CCR and Aerosmith that I'm not aware of? Some Boston-San Francisco feud?

Video Montage #1: These clips from the first wave of auditions seem like they were a million years ago. Boring.

Joshua is now singing "Take Me To The Pilot." Another great pick for him that he takes and turns into a gospel song. And here comes Fantasia Barrino straight from her failed Catwoman audition. She looks like she is wanting to clap her hands but that the skin-suit simply won't allow her that kind of mobility. Freak. Show.

Okay, screaming aside, they brought her on WAY too early. I wanted more of him before she came in and "did her thang." And the commercial break forces its hand and leaves the song before it can finish. And I don't think it had any intention of finishing. I imagine that they were not even allowed to end - that someone grabbed the drumsticks and just yelled "cut!"

Outtakes of Jimmy Iovine were pretty fantastic. Particularly the part where he suggested that they should string them together.

New song - who is that short haired blonde? Seriously, I know she was on before, but I can't remember her name. Elaine? Eloise? Joshica? This appears to be a medley of songs that you almost know, but don't. Oh wait. Now I know it. Chaka Khan medley. I'm sure she's waiting backstage, hopefully she isn't trying to get into Fantasia's catwoman outfit…. [she enters]

Well, it's pretty close. What the heck is the theme here - the American Idolvengers?

I'll tell you one thing. Chaka at 59 years old pulled it off ten times more effectively than Fantasia did. Not saying a whole lot, but it's plenty. Now I have to go scrub out my eyeballs.

Erika! Thanks Ford! I like the idea of giving someone else a Ford. Of course, they have to pay the taxes on them. So there's that, but hey. I got a new Escape this year, and I had to pay the taxes too.

Rihanna is on now. I will likely have to fast forward this performance, since she appears to be in some kind of nuclear green Tesseract. Oh she tricked us. It's a prism! Still gonna need to fast forward soon. I likes her music so much better when we reworked it and sang it on Easter. She has stepped off of the nuclear prism now. And cue the fast forward when the "dance break" starts.

Skylar Lane sings "Turn on the Radio" - Ladies and Gentlemen, Reba! And her fake face! Skylar, please learn the lesson and don't even do that. This so far is the most connected star turn of the night. I mean, I guess John Fogerty is just a tad more available these days then Dave Matthews. Plus if Dave Matthews and Phillip Phillips actually appeared on the stage together, it would be nuclear. Looks like the LMFAO guy got a hold of a fiddle after all.

Now we get to visit Steven's "lair." let the hilarity begin. Where's my sloth? No. Stop. This whole skit is a nightmare. Boo.

Jessica sings "I Will Always Love You." Ladies and Gentlemen, Whitney -- oh wait. (too soon?) How about Jennifer Hudson? Nope, it's just a solo. Why was Steven singing along with her? I'm saying that was supposed to be with Jennifer Hudson and then she canceled at the last minute.

Colton and the boys start off a Neil Diamond medley. Did they really have Heejung sings lead on the word "free" over and over again? Ladies and gentlemen, hurry up and bring out the real guy, I can't take much more of these boys… wait. He's not gonna be wearing a catsuit, is he?

There he is. Everybody join in, "Bahm, Bahm, Bahm!"

Well, that's the first hour. I'll post this, and then continue on blogging for a second post. Fun!

It's time for the American Idol top two to compete in the final week - tonight it's the performance show (one day early for those keeping track at home), and then tomorrow night the big grand finale with a truckload of likely surprise guests, all the top ten back in performances, and of course, the results of the voting.

So here are my thoughts on tonight's performances, given of course, as always, before I hear about how "over the top" the performances are from the judges… Round 1 is Simon Fuller's choice, Round 2 is their favorite from the season, and then their "new songs." Here we go….

Jessica: "I Have Nothing" - She's coming out fighting - this was an out and out attack on this song, and I think she won the battle. Nice pick and a great performance. Held her own on a tough Whitney song.

Phillip: "Stand By Me" - I have to say that I was kinda bored by this. I wasn't into this arrangement, it was like "easy-listening" 101. I think he could have been successful with the song, if it was really really stripped down, and off-rhythm - haunting, instead of snoring…

Jason Derulo premiered his song called Undefeated, and who cares.

Jessica: "The Prayer" - Is that Michael Jordan conducting the strings? Well, she knows where her success lies. Find a ballad and stick it. Whitney, Celine, she's not messing around. It's good, and it definitely fits within the old school version of what this 'singing competition' used to cater to back in the day. She's having a great night.

Phillip: "Movin' Out" - There's the Phillip we love! He's got that secret smile, and a great take on a classic song. Even the background vocals work for me on this one. But I'm pretty sure he came crashing in on the wrong chord three times at the end of that song.

Jessica: "Change Nothing" - I wonder if this will be a hopeful ballad? Why would they ask her to belt this thing while sitting on a piano? On the high notes she sounds like a tea kettle going off. No good, and it's too bad, because with a better song she could have taken the night.

Phillip: "Home" - This sounds like a Bruce Cockburn track. Or Mumford and Sons. Whatever it is, it sounds about twenty times better than Jessica's song. That is, until the drum corps came through for no apparent reason. I'm waiting for the LMFAO guys to show up next. In bear suits. It was good. So much better than Jessica's original.

Random Notes:
JLo gives Jessica advice on how to pick songs?
Giving Jessica feedback about how the song was no good is like telling a Manager at McDonalds that his choice for the secret sauce for a Big Mac lacked originality.
The disparity between the quality of Jessica and Phillip's original songs demands an explanation of that process. In Jessica's interview she intimated that she had some kind of choice in the matter - how much? How many songs were they choosing from? How involved was Jimmy Iovine? This part of the process has undergone so many changes every year, and is so influential on the final vote, that I want to see what's going on behind the curtain. Show us, oh Wizard of Idol!

Who will win? Jessica's only chance in my mind is if she picks up some of the "Balladeer" votes that Joshua left on the table with his exit. We'll see tomorrow night, and I plan on blogging the finale as well… see ya then!

Tonight the three finalists perform songs picked by the judges, by themselves, and Jimmy Iovine. First up are the judges picks. But before we go into that, I'd like to do a plug for some independent artist friends of mine. If you've liked my mutterings on American Idol this season, do me a solid and buy the new CD by my friend Andrea Dawn called "Theories of How We Can Be Friends." I just got to listen to it yesterday, and it's fantastic. A great local artist making great local music. Buy on iTunes here, or on her website. If you can't do that, at least like her on Facebook! Do it! Okay, now back to my reactions to tonight's show, which as always, I write before I hear what the judges have to say...

Joshua - "I'd Rather Be Blind" - Gotta love that key change. I thought this was fantastic. But… I would like to see 15% more energy and specificity from his eyes. There are times where his eyes just kind of drift away, and even though the voice maintains it's amazing-ness, it could be even better. Only drawback of this song is its lack of familiarity.

Jessica: "My All" - In the second verse, it almost seemed like she was running out of breath. Not a fan of this in general, though she executed the choruses well. It was a good off speed pitch for her, but again, a song that is not terribly familiar.

Phillips: "Beggin'" - So this tune is actually a Four Seasons song that was remade. Again, not the most familiar Four Seasons' tune, but in Phillip's case, it works to his advantage because as a singer-songwriter type, his attack with an unfamiliar song makes it seem like he might have written it. My only negative on that one was that his eyes were closed more often this performance than in the past.

Round One goes to Phillip, in my humble opinion…

Joshua: "Imagine" - Hey, it's a recognizable song! I want to steal that drummer's stick and throw it. I would have liked this song, but what is up with this arrangement? The background vocals sound like a holdover from the Donny and Marie Variety Show. The only thing this arrangement had going for it was the last four bars. That ending was great. The rest of it? Just okay for me.

Jessica: "I Don't Want To Miss a Thing" - Sure, it's an Aerosmith song, but it was written by Diane Warren, so it's not exactly away from her type. This is a lot better than her first song - it's too old for her for sure, but the lyrics are trite enough that it doesn't take too much away. Big finish. Strong pick.

Phillip: "Disease" - Well, I have to say that it's a good thing that Phillips' video montage of his hometown trip was the best and most interesting and emotionally touching (his parents are so sweet) - because that performance was utterly forgettable. I feel like I should hear Simon Cowell saying "This is a singing competition!"

Round Two goes to Jessica.

Joshua: "No More Drama" - This was a great pick for him - but what is going on with all that bouncing? He turned into Tigger all of a sudden. That's okay, because Tiggers are wonderful things, and the climax of that song and the end of it with the quiet scream was awesome.

Jessica: "I'll Be There" - Gotta agree with Jimmy's picks so far - this one is fantastic for her - it fits her age and is of enough musical caliber to match her abilities. When she started that second verse with that signature "Let Me Feel…" it was gold. Best performance of hers in the whole competition in my opinion.

Phillip: "We've Got Tonight" - This is one of my favorite songs. And I will likely be buying this version on iTunes soon. He did great. He sang the melody, he told a story, he was vulnerable. That was a genius pick.

Round Three goes to Jimmy Iovine.

RANDOM NOTES:
Randy: If It Broke Ain't, Fix Don't it?
So far Steven has predicted that both Joshua and Jessica will win AI this year. He knows that's not possible, right?
Jimmy Iovine talking about the "magic" of the church. Priceless.
Randy just said and I quote "You have laid everything on this stage that there is to lay."
I hope that for the finale next week they string together every time Steven Tyler says "Over the Top". Gotta be sixty times this season.
Steven (after swearing on live television): "Let 'Em Bleep it at home." - Ummmm that's not how this works. I don't have a bleep remote that I can press at home.

So - who are the finalists? Kristi said to me she thinks it's going to be the boys. I tend to agree. Plus, I really want to see Phillip and Joshua sing "Say, Say, Say." Would that not be fantastic? Who can make that happen for me?

American Idol is back this week, and it's the final four! The theme this week is "California Dreamin'" which basically means that we may had to persevere through some Beach Boys covers, some Mamas and the Papas, and maybe some Red Hot Chili Peppers. And then there are songs that the contestants "wished they had written." We'll see about that. Here comes my take on things, written, as always, before the judges say what they say. And away we go!

Phillip: "Have You Ever Seen The Rain" - Welcome to the stage Phillip Phillips, and that blonde chick with the saxophone wearing a bright white tank top. Well, the surfers in the background have convinced me that this song is all about California. Eek. Probably Phillips' worst song pick and performance. I hope he skips the middle man for his second song and chooses to perform a song that he has written. This was brutal.

Hollie: "Faithfully" - Well, I'm on board from the moment the piano starts. I'm such an 80s junkie. I love that she didn't change the lyric "lovin' a music man" - And while she did a respectable job on this song, ultimately what makes this song impressive is the key it is in when a guy sings it in the stratosphere. Which, she is not in. But those last notes were cool. Cue Randy referencing when he played bass in Journey. Go.

Joshua: "You Raise Me Up" - I don't know what it is about this, but I'm not completely buying it early on. He's amazing, and by the end, he got to the notes he needed too in order to payoff the moment, but in the earlier moments, I was kinda wondering why. Until the very last chorus it was not fantastic, but that last rung was worth it in the end. I do think he's stronger when he transforms a song and turns it into a gospel number than when he reinterprets something that is already gospel.

Jessica: "Steal Away" - So I guess they are choosing not to learn the lesson of the 16 year old singing above her age? Sitting on the piano like a fabulous baker boy/girl? I guess at the end of the day it doesn't matter, because she slayed this. Wow. That was a fantastic vocal.

Phillip & Joshua: "This Love" - With those pianos out there, why aren't they breaking out some Ebony & Ivory? I would kill to hear this duo sing "Say, Say Say" - but I will settle for this. This isn't great, but it is so miles above last week's duet that I will take it to the bank.

Jessica & Hollie: "Eternal Flame" - Swings? Swings? This was fine, but again, in a two hour show, I can totally take it or leave it. The song is as catchy as hell though.

Top Four: "Waiting For a Girl Like You" - I love this song. So I'm okay with them butchering it.

Phillip: "Volcano" - This thing was staged in the sixties. Well in my mind, this redeems his earlier performance, the only disadvantage he has in this case is that this is not a well known song. But this is the kind of thing I want to see from my Phillip Phillips. Cool and cool.

Hollie: "I Can't Make You Love Me" - A great song, and I appreciate the correct pronunciation of the word "patronize." - The only problem here is where is the build? The forced key change isn't going to do it, I don't think. I would be surprised if she survived after this.

Joshua: "It's a Man's World" - This dude is incredible. Are you kidding me? That was fantastic. And even as he offered that last high note just a touch flat, it just didn't matter. That was unbelievable.

Jessica: "And I Am Telling You" - I'm kind of over this song itself. again, how does a 16 year old get away with the depth of these lyrics? Seriously. We passed notes in class, and I am telling you I am not going? Nonetheless, she sings the "you know what" out of it, Randy. But compare this with Joshua, and I think that this is essentially a facsimile of something, whereas what Joshua has is completely his own.

Random Notes:
What is up with Steven Tyler's hair? He looks like Pippi Longstocking getting out of the shower. Not that I know what that looks like.
Kudos to Phillip and Josh for taking on the swings after that duet.
Anyone want to go see ROCK OF AGES?
Quote of the night: "I'm just laughing, 'cause I ain't got your phone number…" - Joshua to Jimmy Iovine after he told him to just give him a call.

So, who is going home? I can't imagine that it wouldn't be Hollie. But, hey, I've been Daughtry'd before…

Hey AI - we're back! Looking forward to the top five tonight after saying a somewhat overdue goodbye to Elise last week. The competition continues to be great, so let's kick it off - here are my reactions to the musical numbers, given, as always, before I hear what the judges have to say about any of it. The 60s and then Brit Pop are the categories for the songs, and Little Steven Van Zandt is the guest mentor. Fuggetaboutit.

Hollie: "River Deep Mountain High" - Thinking about how timid Carrie Underwood was back in the day and wondering if Hollie is capable of the kind of transformation Carrie went through - That dress sure seems like it's headed in the right direction. I thought that this was probably as great as she's going to be able to be with an uptempo song. Not are it will be enough, but it was entertaining and didn't seem forced or self-aware.

Phillip: "The Letter" - Another great arrangement - another great performance from someone whose schtick should be getting old but instead is making me want to buy the whole album.

Skylar: "Fortunate Son" - Okay, this is the perfect song for her to attack - but… will this choice hurt her in the patriotic south? We're talking about a severely anti-war protest song about Vietnam. Even though it's CCR - which should be safe… just kinda makes me wonder. It reminds me of when ppl loved Bruce's Born in the USA without realizing the irony of the lyrics. Overall I liked it but she may get tagged by the judges for not quite having it all there.

Joshua and Phillip: "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" - they sound neutered. These are two guys who look at a melody line as a suggestion and probably have never had to bow to anyone's harmony line. as a result, the first verse and chorus were boring and lame, and the bridge was the one section that made the producers think that this would be a good idea.

Jessica: "Proud Mary" - For me this is one of those with Jessica where I know she's nailing it, but the mimic factor is so high that it makes it less credible for me as a performance. It's the kind of performance that could put her in a Tina Turner cover band instead of the top four of American Idol.

Joshua: "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" - Perfect song pick for him, it's like he used my flux capacitor from last week and became a Motown sensation. And this is such a difference to me between the mimic of youth (Jessica) and the emulation of age.

Okay, after round one I would just like to say that before any of these top five get eliminated, that tomorrow night Taylor Hicks, David Cook, Kris Allen, Lee DeWyze should surrender their AI winning titles and awards to this top five. Seriously. the four who don't win of these five are miles ahead of all four of those guys. Just sayin'.

Here's round two. Using the 3 word or less strategy for round two, except for the trio coming up. Trust me, it's harder to be held to fewer words.

Hollie: "Bleeding Love" - She has arrived.

Phillip: "Time of the Season" - Drink the Kool-aid.

Jessica, Skylar & Hollie: "Love Keeps Liftin' Me" - I could take or leave this personally. I realize they are obligated to fill a two hour show, but come on. A trio with background singers filling in the chorus is totally unnecessary. Next you'll tell me that Wilson Phillips has reunited and is playing shows again.

Skylar: "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me" - Needed NO actors.

Jessica: "You Are So Beautiful" - Solid, honest interpretation.

Joshua: "To Love Somebody" - Bee Jesus Heaven!

RANDOM NOTES:
Funniest sign: Phillip Phillips: He's so talented that his parents named him twice!
Ryan outed Phillip Phillips girlfriend and single-handedly put him into the bottom three this week as the women scorned will not vote for a man taken.
Steven Tyler: "The only thing that gives experience a run for its money is a sixteen year old." Gross.
Ryan: That's a daffodil.
Steven censors himself and chooses to say "hell" instead of "Crap." Whuh?

So who's IN IT TO WIN IT? I can't imagine trying to prognosticate who's in the bottom three. Easy pickings based on previous weeks would be Skylar and Hollie - could it be that Phillip will join them for the first week ever?