After a lovely day at the beach, our family gathered around the tele and took in American Idol. I wanted to make sure we captured it all, so get this - I programmed the VCR in the condo to make sure it recorded. With a timer. For reals. So here are my thoughts from 1991, presented as always, before any of the judges make beeps and noises that seem like critique but are more like beeps and noises… enjoy the sweetness, and happy spring break everyone!

Colton: "Everything" - Well he's not wasting any time going for the worship/praise/hey-I'm-a-Jesus-guy-so-vote-for-me-thing. But I kid! I think he's genuine for sure, and I love this song. I remember when our church took this song and "turned" it into a praise song. Very much an anthem. But when you sing "you tell me, how could it be, any better than this" - you should smile. Just sayin'.

Skylar: "Gunpowder and Lead" That skirt does not do her figure any favors. What are you doing HIlfiger? This is a hot number for sure, but it is not a difficult song. I see what Jimmy's saying about danger, there are too many good voices out there doing acrobatics with their moments. But never forget the power of country music…!

Stevie Nicks' Medley: Well if Phillip isn't a dead ringer for Lindsay Buckingham...! Nice, but why?

HeeJun: "A Song For You" - He really does have a great voice. Why can't they let him have both things? But I do think Jimmy nailed it with him - he is very sensitive and worries about what people will think of him, and in many ways comedy can be a front for lots of insecurities. Not sure if that's really what's going on with him, but it wouldn't surprise me. This is a great rendition of this song, but how is this different from when he took on Richard Marx? His last "yeah" and that smile was a perfect mix of both sides of his personality - serious and whimsical. He needs both in every performance.

Hollie: "Jesus Takes the Wheel" - Normally I'm not a sucker for those mentor moments, but I bought Stevie coaching her and getting emotional thinking about her mom passing. In the second verse, Hollie came a life a little and started to tell the story. And can you really beat a song that has Jesus featured so prominently? No, I didn't think so.

DeAndre: "Sometimes I Cry" - There is usually not a single thing I like about a song like this unless it's written and performed by Prince. He was pretty amazing, but I still think this is a isolated fan base who would be into this kind of talent and feat, and he'll still probably be in the bottom three. He executed it well, but it won't be enough.

Jessica: "Beautiful Nightmare" - It's kinda funny, but her talking about how much she loves Beyonce and emulated her as a child revealed a mimic thing that probably has been going on for a long time but is less noticeable as a Philippino-Mexican vocalist. But she mimics Beyonce a lot in this, and of course, she's really really good at it.

Michael Jackson Medley: - I'll only say that it was entertaining. Seems like a cash money grab from the folks bringing you "Immortal" in Vegas.

Phillip: "Still Rainin'" - Okay so I figured it out. Phillip is like the legit version of Taylor Hicks. You know how you liked Taylor Hicks, but you felt kinda silly because even though he was genuine, he also seemed kinda cheese ball? Well, Phillip is much better than that, obviously, he plays guitar, but more importantly, he's got street cred. He loves this song more though, than it should have gone on for…

Joshua: "Without You" - Cue the Coming to America clip… In some ways, I think that he would have been better off without the notes from Stevie about believing the story, because that's not what is missing from him most of the time. What's with the wiping of his face/nose at the end there? I think this one translated much better live than it did on television. For me, Flip Wilson showed back up, with a little Gollum on the side.

Madonna Medley: The only think I'll say about this is that Skylar is awesome, but when she doesn't know what to do around a non-country song, she growls. She needs a new gimmick for when she sings pop songs.

Elise: "Whole Lotta Love" - I'm enjoying the war between Elise's shaking hips and the director moving from wide shots to extreme close ups to avoid them. It's like the Ed Sullivan show all over again. This was great and she totally nailed it - but for her sake I wish that she hadn't revealed that she sang it in her band. Because I think she deserved to have people not think of this performance as a retread. It was rock, and roll.

RANDOM NOTES:
I think that the Tommy Hilfiger experiment is just about over, being regulated to an opening video montage but no individual moments.
Colton said worship, and then he said church.
Now Randy's breaking out the Christianish Band name-dropping with Switchfoot and MuteMath references. I call them the "Pronoun Jesus" bands. Where it could be about a girl, a parent, or Jesus. But the pronoun keeps it omnidirectional and safe for the whole family.
Steven Tyler to HeeJun: That song just sung you. Wha…?
Jason Derulo's sparkling neckbrace. Ouch and Fabulous!
Randy Jackson put "constructive criticism" in his own air quotes. Wow.
Steven Tyler: "I'm not going to mess with Jesus or Carrie"
Ryan: "The hot new trio 'ThreeDirection,' Ladies and Gentlemen."
Loved that Elise and Steven Tyler were wearing the same pants.

So who is going home? Is it possible that Colton will suffer from going first? Might be the first bottom three for him if the curse holds up. But HeeJun might be done. Or DeAndre. Who do you think?

Well, here we are - top ten time at American Idol! Here are my thoughts after our good Christian tall girl said goodbye last week. The songs are from the catalog of Billy Joel, so naturally, Diddy (dirty money?) was on hand to help him out. Huh? As always, I comment before I hear the judges spew their non-venom at the group. Here goes:

DeAndre: "Only The Good Die Young" - At first I thought he was going to be in trouble, but I actually like his voice on this track- his rasp is very evocative of one of my favorites from the 80s, Terence Trent D'Arby - if he could tap into that more often I would become a fan. Petered out at the end though.

Erika: "New York State Of Mind" - I love this song, but I'd don't love it for her because I think that it makes her too lounge lizard-ee. Or maybe that's just the Pat Make-Benatar-Over she got from Hilfiger.

Joshua: "She's Got A Way" - I don't think I would ever admit that I had never heard this song, but hey, I'm not a 20something anymore. This is not going to be one of his most memorable performances - he's not convincing singing with anything that doesn't turn into a gospel anthem - and man, that is not what this song is about. He can still wail, no question - but I wasn't a huge fan.

Skyler: "Shameless" - a smart pick, since Garth Brooks covered it back in the day. Great, but again, not her best. She's not going anywhere though. I just don't think it's possible to blow a song like that out of the water really. I still like her a lot.

Elise: "Vienna" - In some ways, I think the lack of familiarity with this song may help her, mainly because she's the first one so far who has really connected with the lyrics that she's singing - so it makes her come off as someone singing "her own" song more so that the rest. I didn't understand that Lady Gaga-esque run with the puppet hand at the end, but man, it was a great performance.

Phillip: "Movin' Out" - Okay, now don't get me wrong, I like Phillip, but not every song in every genre needs to be sent to the Dave Matthews Band school of style and meldy manipulation. It was really good. Can this last? I don't know if it can for me, but he's safe for sure.

Hollie: "Honesty" - great song pick for her, I can't wait to hear it. She can't hear herself well enough to stay in tune - a little sharp in places. Not sure about the silver wonder woman garb. It's like "Wonder Woman In The City." Great ending I thought, but I would say that most of the angst she was showing us was frustration from the experience of performing and not necessarily the passion of the lyric.

Heejun: "My Life" - well, now I know why they didn't reveal his song choice in the video open. I loved the joke with the crooning in the beginning - but it wasn't until the breakdown of the chorus that the song actually worked for me for him. Prior to that, it was karaoke. And that isn't an asian joke, I promise. Well, maybe just a rittle bit.

Jessica: "Everybody Has a Dream" - Maybe the least brilliant song picked so far. I don't know this song, but I'm going to assume that it's from Billy Joel's as yet unproduced musical about Jacob's Ladder. Obviously she's amazing, but I could have cared less about this song. My favorite part was when she sang to Diddy. That was real, and I believed her then.

Colton: "Piano Man" - Okay, I really liked this. Even though he's turning the piano part into a song by the Fray. And what's not to like about the Prince garb? Speaking of Prince, when are we going to get a Prince week? I would love to hear Colton sing Darling Nikki in that coat. To me, that was better than Jessica, who got a standing O for her rendition. Where's his standing O?

Random Notes:
So Tommy Hilfiger is on board to help with fashion. Feels desperate to me.
Is there a worse idea than Erika's hair transformation?
Okay, I just slammed Joshua for admitting that he didn't know "She's Got a Way" - and then Steven Tyler says he doesn't know it!?!? Oh wait - that song was written and recorded in the 70s, he doesn't remember Aerosmith songs from the 70s, much less anyone else's… This is your brain on Aerosmith…
Okay, so Elise doesn't have to wear the bell bottoms? Tommy has no say in this? Come on man.
Diddy brings his "ladies" to be crooned to by Phillip. Gross? Or maybe it was just gross.
This Tommy Hilfiger thing is really going to backfire if it becomes so painfully obvious that the contestants are not bound to his advice.
Best quote of the night - Diddy: (about Heejun) "I don't even know if he's… Asian."
Okay, so Steven Tyler calls Heejun out for not taking the moment seriously. Hmmm. Cause "Dude looks like a lady" is all about serious work.
If I have to see that oval behind the singers separate dramatically one more time I'm calling Carl Sagan to get him to make it stop.
I do enjoy hearing conflicting advice from two mentors. I think that lends credibility to the premise that in the end, everyone's opinion is exactly that.
Oh sh*t, Colton just went Tebow on us. It's like a coming out party for evangelicals when he asks God to "use me" on national television. Boom!

So who is going home? I don't know, but with only ten, even with a great performance, I think Elise will be in the bottom three - maybe with DeAndre and Erika.

Well, it's the top twelve, or rather, eleven  - much love to Ellen Stewart who broke the news to my Facebook page that the low voiced tall guy, Jermaine, was kicked out of Idol. Crazy. Haven't heard all the details yet. Here's the deal, I type all my thoughts before the judges say what they say, and then you get to read it. Fun, right? Here we go!

Phillip: "Hard to Handle" - Well, this song was perfect for him, and he's good enough that he should totally shake the "going first" blues. Which of course, is different than the "I just had kidney-stones" blues, which he also shook effectively. Nice job.

Jessica: "Turn the Beat Around" - Well, you knew that she was going to have a hard time beating last week's performance, but I think the choice was a good one ultimately - previous young girls when nailing ballads have often stuck to the formula too long. This was the opposite of that. She has a killer voice, she'll be fine next week.

HeeJun: "Right Here Waiting" - His voice is so unconventional. I hope he goes far in the competition, but in the end, I just am not sure that there's enough mojo behind it to overtake the other competitors. Just this side of cheese, although that keychange was killer.

Elise: "Let's Stay Together" - She has a great raspy sultry voice, but Will.i.am. is right, she needs to smile (and what I mean by that, is that he must have read my blog last week…) - if she could develop facial expressions to match her voice's expressiveness she could totally break through and not be in the bottom three. But since she didn't (until the very end), I think she will be in the bottom three again. She's like the Richard Nixon of the Nixon-Kennedy debates on TV. But, you know, prettier.

DeAndre: "Endless Love" - My biggest problem with this is that it's a duet. But this is a great song for his demographic and voting public. When is he going to take this up into the falsettosphere? Oh, the last note? I'm sorry, that was not early enough for me. And I don't think he nailed it. But he will be in trouble.

Shannon: "One Sweet Day" - I don't know if she's going to be able to sing it, but this kind of song is in her sweet spot. She's trying 3% too hard, but it was an admirable attempt. Here's what we need - Shannon's genuine heartfelt facial expressions and honesty with Elise's vocal confidence and prowess. And Jessica's belt.

Colton: "Broken Heart" - Okay, I haven't been a fan of his so far, but his opening talking about meeting Daughtry and his advice kind of started to humanize him for me. I don't think this is a very good song, so it makes me still wonder about him as an artist - he picked it and all. The high notes at the end were good for sure, but does this kind of song have an audience still?

Erika: "Heaven" -  I can't wait for any song from 1985. Stevie Nicks wants her leather and lace back please. The only problem with this song as that once it arrives, it's there and doesn't go any farther - so they have to add a key change to get it to another level. I think it worked in general, but truth be told it might not be enough to protect her.

Jermaine: Well, I'll put this storyline in the order of when it appeared. WHY THE HECK ARE THEY SHOWING THIS SCENE between the producers and Jermaine? "You've put us in a difficult position" they say, and then they capitalize on the scandal by filming the scene of kicking him out? Boo.

Skylar: "Love Sneakin' Up On You" - A Bonnie Raitt song is a great pick. She's got swagger, much more than Jessica. I really like her, but this is more of a great studio recording song than it is a strong live performance song. But that being said, she attacked the end of it - may have been a little flat in doing it, but it was worth it.

Joshua: "When a Man Loves a Woman" - Any "Coming to America" fans out there? If so, let your soul glo… He's awesome obviously, but I still think that a song pick like this is a cheat. I would pay him $1000 if he ended his song by screaming "Sexual! Sexual Chocolate!" That was hot. Me likey.

Hollie: "The Power of Love" - Again, this is a cover - Air Supply fans, wave your hands for me! She is sharp in the beginning. She just has an incredible voice - recovered nicely from the first few lines which were a bit shaky. Did she hit that last note or not? I almost couldn't tell, the arrangement was so full. What an incredible instrument.

Random notes: So if the song was covered in the year that someone was born then that counts? "Hard to Handle" is a much older song than any of these performers. Same with Endless Love. Boo cheaters.
Will.i.am.: "You're a Swaggernaut." What?
Randy, thanks for the primer on what constructive criticism is…. let us know when you plan on starting to deliver it…
Will.i.am.: "That would be fresh because you sound dope on that." Huh?
Weak sauce to show that clip of Obama. I don't care about his March Madness pics either. But I also don't care if he spends presidential time picking them either. What were we talking about again?
Will.i.am.: "Don't sing master blaster, be the master that blasts through the competition, and then you will last, til the next rendition." Derrrr?
The judges have a major case of the "not right song for you" disease tonight. Hey. It was based on the year they were born! There are constraints on this concept. They should not be held to the same test as though they have the world's songbook at their disposal.
Jimmy Iovine selling smartphones? Smooth and subtle product placement. Naught.
Steven Tyler has been listening to the press about how he's too soft. He became a grumpy old man tonight. It's like someone said "we're doing a White Lion song instead of an Aerosmith song" and he grabbed his cane and shook it.
Will.i.am.: "Ghetto Country is Ghountry"
Okay, I get that JLo doesn't know White Lion, but she should know this Bonnie Raitt song, right?
Will.i.am.: "You sound like your dad's a pastor" - favorite quote of the night from Will.i.am.

So who's in the bottom three? I say DeAndre, Elise and Erika. If those are their real names… Nigel?

Hey y'all! Well, it's the top 13 tonight after the hatchet job last week - as I said before, I would much rather have the tough cut on one night than to string out bad performances week after week, so hopefully that bodes well for tonight…

Speaking of tonight - it's the girls vs. the boys, in more ways than one. Mary J. Blige is working with Jimmy Iovine on the song selections in rehearsal, with the girls singing Whitney Houston songs and the boys singing Stevie Wonder songs. But that's not all: Tomorrow they will take the lowest ranking boy and the lowest ranking girl, and then the judges will decide which one to save.

JOSHUA: "I Wish" - He's got a "Pee Wee Hermann as performed by Flip Wilson" thing going on in his movement. Wanting him to break out into the Tequila song/dance. Maybe that's what he means by out of his comfort zone? I really like his voice and he has soul - but that wasn't memorable for me by the end of the night I'm guessing.

ELISE: "I'm Your Baby Tonight" - The girl who was on fire? Jimmy picked the right song for her for sure. Great performance all the way around - her voice has such an interesting timber to it. My only complaint with her is that I think her voice gives off a "knowing, shrewd" quality that is very cool and interesting, and I don't see that as much in her facial expressions - they seem a little lackluster.

JERMAINE: "Knocks Me Off My Feet" - He's gained confidence even after one week. The first verse and chorus were killer, but by the time he was singing "I don't want to bore you with this…" I was.. well… a bit bored, until that last run at the end of the song. Then he had me back.

ERIKA: "I Believe in You and Me" - That was a great performance all the way around. I enjoyed this so much more than her offering last week, and i think it confirms the judges' choice to keep her over Jen last week. Honest. Beautiful.

COLTON: "Lately" - He's sharp and flat all at the same time. I didn't think that was possible. I know that this guy has his fans, but I just don't get it. Kind of reminds me of how I felt about David Cook, but I guess there's a market for that since Cook won American Idol back in the day and now sells at least hundreds of CDs.

SHANNON: "I Have Nothing" - Sandy from Grease wants her leather back. She may have had it in rehearsal, but this one got away from her a little bit. It's a combo of being too young to have experienced what this song is communicating, plus the difficulty of the song just swallowing her up. It's too bad, because she doesn't deserve to have that handed to her. She shouldn't have tried to do that without a microphone stand.

DEANDRE: "Master Blaster" - Is he saying actual words or just scatting? Bob Marley-Mumble? This was completely boring for me and didn't show off what was/is great about his voice, which is too bad - I can't imagine him staying out of trouble tomorrow night.

SKYLAR: "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" - Is tonight's wardrobe sponsored by the Jacket Coalition? She successfully managed to turn this song into a country story-song. Wow. She has such charisma, and I think she could win it all. Fire!

HEEJUN: "All Is Fair" - He'd better have some money notes toward the end here or he's going to lose his mojo with this slow number. Last note was just a touch flat. I still like him a lot, but that song wasn't doing him any favors in my opinion.

HOLLIE: "All The Man That I Need" - I think this arrangement is making her seem less impressive than she is. Until that last note, ironically, when the band stopped. She's got an amazing instrument, I just wish that the pacing of the song wasn't so milquetoast.

JEREMY: "Ribbons In The Sky" - The verses are suffering from mumble-land like Deandre. It's not great for me, but I get his appeal for sure. I think the fact that Deandre and Jermaine went with uptempo numbers might save this kid for one more week.

JESSICA: "I Will Always Love You" - If anyone could do this, it's her. Such control and so volatile at the same time. Bam - she's fantastic. Now she has to stop doing that thing with her fingers. Well deserved standing ovation.

PHILLIP: "Superstition" - To be fair to the other competitors, I couldn't understand a word he said except the word superstitious. But I didn't care. That was hawt. That was a spectacle, which is surprising considering that his mode is more like "contained" fireworks. It was great to see him bring along a band to come with him on his vibe.

RANDOM NOTES:
Randy gave his first good note in the history of the show when he said that Elise was "boxing" with the song. Dead on. And helpful. And it didn't have "dog" or "come on" in it at all.
I'm not comfortable with JLo's constantly saying "goosies."
I feel like Steven Tyler is gonna do that thing where you put your elbow on the table and it gives out on you and you fall over.
Okay, I don't know what's going on over at The Voice, but nothing in X Factor first season could compare to tonight's performance by Jessica Sanchez. Seriously. American Idol ain't going anywhere my friends.